Oh my.... I'm fueled with anger once more. Anger with an ex, who was together for 5 n half years and almost always together a year after the break up. and since no contact, i was healed, almost healed. but today and right now, i am feeling angry.. Met up with a uni fren and somehow conversation diverted to him.. It isnt a good idea meeting up with old friends who knows both of us, who almost side him (coz he's a guy) but also said things to comfort me, things that i wanna hear.
U see, I'm not in love with ben anymore nor I want to. Previously i blocked and unblock him in Fb, and he isnt't my friend anymore in Fb which is good so that i no need to see pics and tagged places of him. But somehow since i unblock him, i can see public stuffs of his which is his profile pic. Previously my pic with him was alongside his new profile pic. Recently i saw it was removed. Or rather, I was removed. together with mobile uploads pictures of mine and i reckon he has new pictures there because it was updated a week ago....... Okayyy.......... i was looking at the little that i can see in his public profile and getting uneasy about it. I know i shouldnt see anymore......... but i cant stop it! that is y i blocked him again so to refrain myself for my itchy fingers.
Back to my anger........... Why am I still feeling this! I went to pump n combat in the gym to release out. But still, I feel the anger because he has someone new! he is just so lucky to have all the attraction. I am angry because he let me go easily. I am angry because he cannot commit. Good luck with this bitch now! I am angry he fall in love easily and choose some girl like that. so what if she is pretty with make up n contact lens on, but still..... when its removed, good luck to u... lol
On the other hand, after months of no contact, I am feeling very okay.........I know i should have let go much earlier but was stubborn until after being 'stabbed' in the heart for few more times by him, then only i am willing to fully let it go. I have my life, my colourful life to live and am very happy about it. I am lucky to have friends n family's support all through my life. I treat people nice, with my sincere heart without asking anything for return. For I am happy being me, to give unselfishly of my time, my listening ear, my help and advise if needed.
I'm lucky to have met men that opened up my mind and heart. I shall post about it in the next post =) Men that made me smile =))) Men that wear t-shirts, men that likes coffee, men that are so resourceful, men that are so man!!! oh my! =))))
My friend asked just now, Do you still believe in love??
I answered confidently, Yes! I believe =)
1 comment:
*sayang*
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