Storm-proof Life

I've been following CCF online for about two months now since I came back from Manila. It feels like I'm attending the church over there and when the Pastor speaks, it feels like he is speaking right in front of me. It's always in me, that I don't feel enlighten to follow any one religion. I've been exposed to many religions, be it Buddhism, Hinduism, Christianity and even at some point in time, I even would consider Islam if my fate is with a Muslim man. I just leave the religion option open, as if I'm waiting for the right man with the right religion appears to guide me. It shouldn't be this way. It is about my relationship with God, not depending on someone to make this relationship works.

 Anyway, this time around, I try my best to follow the live streaming of the Sunday service. Sometimes I leave it on, just let it play and listening from time to time. Sometimes, I follow but felt sleepy. Sometimes, I listened while multitasking. Hmmm......when sayang ask me what's the take on message each time? I couldn't answer. I have no answer and I do not know what am I doing all these while. Sayang's answer was simple, 'You follow but you're not focusing. You felt sleepy because you're not focusing'. I sing the songs, but without wholeheartedly immersing myself in the meaning of worshiping. So, yesterday I focus while following the 0900 hours service. 

The take on message was we are the disciples. We are the messenger. Not the source. If God is true, it is of infinite importance; not moderately important. God cannot be moderately important.

Are we taking God for granted? Do we pray to God only to solve your problems? Are you angry when your problems are not solve? We are not promised a storm-free life when you believe in Jesus, rather a storm-proof life. 

I hope to be able to pen down more take on message each time I follow the sermon.

Vulnerable Cloud

Sayang, I miss you so much!!!!!!!!! I know I've said this many times but I wanna say it again, I miss you sayang.... I can't wait to be in your arms again, cuddles and hugs. To be truly open and vulnerable to someone takes a lot of courage. I've always been courageous, and will be for this one last time. My mended heart is strong for this soaring love, OUR LOVE.

Change

Sometimes, we have to let go of certain things, certain privileges, certain comfort, certain luxuries, in order to experience something totally different. New environment, no prior knowledge. This is what I call a CHALLENGE, where the word CHANGE is in it. Bring it on! I can do it! =)

Familiarity Breeds Negativity

Recently I got a one month pass to my old gym for free! I was excited as it's free and I get to join Zumba!*i like to move it, move it... LOL It has been 2 years since I left this gym and going back there brought back lots of memories and past familiarity. You see, it was at this gym I learned and join all the classes from Body Combat, Body Pump, Zumba, Yoga, RPM, fast fit, aerobic dance and basic steps. It was also here I spent my time after a break up at that time. It brought back lots of negative emotions. The main class where I work my a$$ off, to push myself further in order to heal. The same washroom where I cried and quickly wiped away my tears so that people wouldn't notice. The same locker where I keep my things and also where I sit to read back old messages. I went for Zumba and Power Jump. Different instructors, different feelings and it doesn't feel good anymore. Something is wrong somewhere, I felt disturbed emotionally. Some classes are still being held at the same time, same day and same instructors. Even some of the regular members are still there albeit looked older. However, it doesn't pull me in into their class anymore.

After today's class, I've decided to just stop going to that gym anymore. The sense of familiarity is too intense and I've already moved on with my life. I do not want to go back to that negative state again. Happiness is My Choice.

Ikaw - Yeng Constantino

"Ikaw"

Sa pagpatak ng bawat oras ay ikaw
Ang iniisip-isip ko
Hindi ko mahinto pintig ng puso
Ikaw ang pinangarap-ngarap ko
Simula nung matanto
Na balang araw iibig ang puso

Ikaw ang pagibig na hinintay
Puso ay nalumbay ng kay tagal
Ngunit ngayo'y nandito na ikaw
Ikaw ang pagibig na binigay
sa akin ng may kapal
Biyaya ka sa buhay ko
Ligaya't pagibig ko'y ikaw

Humihinto sa bawat oras ng tagpo
Ang pagikot ng mundo
Ngumingiti ng kusa aking puso
Pagkat nasagot na ang tanong
Nagaalala noon kung may magmamahal
sa 'kin ng tunay

Ikaw ang pagibig na hinintay
Puso ay nalumbay ng kay tagal
Ngunit ngayo'y nandito na ikaw
Ikaw ang pagibig na binigay
Sa akin ng may kapal
Biyaya ka sa buhay ko
Ligaya't pagibig ko'y ikaw

At hindi pa 'ko umibig
Ng ganto at nasa isip
Makasama ka habang buhay

Ikaw ang pagibig na hinintay
Puso ay nalumbay ng kay tagal
Ngunit ngayo'y nandito na ikaw
Ikaw ang pagibig na binigay
sa akin ng may kapal
Biyaya ka sa buhay ko
Ligaya't pagibig ko'y ikaw

Ikaw ang pagibig na hinintay
Puso ay nalumbay ng kay tagal
Ngunit ngayo'y nandito na ikaw
Ikaw ang pagibig na binigay
sa akin ng may kapal
Biyaya ka sa buhay ko
Ligaya't pagibig ko'y ikaw

Pagibig ko'y ikaw

Lyrics from Azlyrics.com

Fell in love with this song, Ikaw - You.