Tuesday, June 9, 2015

Ed Sheeran - Photograph


The lyrics sums up all that I felt right now...It's a beautiful song and melody.


                                                       "Photograph"                                                      

Loving can hurt
Loving can hurt sometimes
But it's the only thing that I know
When it gets hard
You know it can get hard sometimes
It is the only thing that makes us feel alive

We keep this love in a photograph
We made these memories for ourselves
Where our eyes are never closing
Hearts are never broken
Times forever frozen still

So you can keep me
Inside the pocket
Of your ripped jeans
Holdin' me closer
'Til our eyes meet
You won't ever be alone
Wait for me to come home

Loving can heal
Loving can mend your soul
And it's the only thing that I know (know)
I swear it will get easier
Remember that with every piece of ya
And it's the only thing we take with us when we die

We keep this love in this photograph
We made these memories for ourselves
Where our eyes are never closing
Our hearts were never broken
Times forever frozen still

So you can keep me
Inside the pocket
Of your ripped jeans
Holdin' me closer
'Til our eyes meet
You won't ever be alone

And if you hurt me
That's OK, baby, only words bleed
Inside these pages you just hold me
And I won't ever let you go

Wait for me to come home [4x]

Oh you can fit me
Inside the necklace you got when you were 16
Next to your heartbeat
Where I should be
Keep it deep within your soul

And if you hurt me
Well, that's OK, baby, only words bleed
Inside these pages you just hold me
And I won't ever let you go

When I'm away
I will remember how you kissed me
Under the lamppost
Back on 6th street
Hearing you whisper through the phone,
"Wait for me to come home."



cited from http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/edsheeran/photograph.html

Monday, June 8, 2015

Bravery in a cloudy night

I did something courageous a few days back. Something that I never do before and will never do again. To clear my mind, to clarify my direction and to know where I stand. It did not occur to me that I will tell him that night, as we chat and discuss along, I felt a strong urge to ask, I know I need to get it off my chest, if not I will miss the opportunity and not sure when I will be brave enough again. I don't want the attachment feeling sets in and I will fall even deeper for him. Even though uncomfortable, I blurted out, and dare not look at him, heart pounding as quick as it can.... and I told him the truth as I do not want to waste time wondering and hoping and dreaming about him.

Even though the outcome isn't as positive that I hope for, I am able to accept it. I felt relieved that I know the answer instead of several months or years later. I was feeling numb for a while until the next morning, went for body combat class, cried a lil, had a breakfast feast of dim sum and kopi ping and went to work. I was still not feeling that ok and booked my 2 girlfriends for the night.

He has all the characteristics that I like and I want in my husband-to-be. Someone that I admire, someone that I look up to, Someone who motivates, guides and pushes me, Someone who is interesting and we shared lots of laughter. Someone who can control me and I am willing to be submissive to. Am not sure whether he knows that I think highly of him. Probably, he felt I'm too good or he himself is not confident?

Earlier that day, I saw the quote 'If you never ask, the answer will always be no'. Probably this is also one of the reason why I'm so brave to ask. Besides, 2 Sagi friends of mine also had the same opinion.

Many people think that I'm a strong woman, which in fact I may look strong in the outside, but i'm as weak and meek in the inside. Deep inside I long for someone to love and be loved. Someone who wants me as much as I want him. Someone to get up with every morning..