Forgive perhaps, forget never part 2

Oh my.... I'm fueled with anger once more. Anger with an ex, who was together for 5 n half years and almost always together a year after the break up. and since no contact, i was healed, almost healed. but today and right now, i am feeling angry.. Met up with a uni fren and somehow conversation diverted to him.. It isnt a good idea meeting up with old friends who knows both of us, who almost side him (coz he's a guy) but also said things to comfort me, things that i wanna hear.

U see, I'm not in love with ben anymore nor I want to. Previously i blocked and unblock him in Fb, and he isnt't my friend anymore in Fb which is good so that i no need to see pics and tagged places of him. But somehow since i unblock him, i can see public stuffs of his which is his profile pic. Previously my pic with him was alongside his new profile pic. Recently i saw it was removed. Or rather, I was removed. together with mobile uploads pictures of mine and i reckon he has new pictures there because it was updated a week ago....... Okayyy.......... i was looking at the little that i can see in his public profile and getting uneasy about it. I know i shouldnt see anymore......... but i cant stop it! that is y i blocked him again so to refrain myself for my itchy fingers.

Back to my anger........... Why am I still feeling this! I went to pump n combat in the gym to release out. But still, I feel the anger because he has someone new! he is just so lucky to have all the attraction. I am angry because he let me go easily. I am angry because he cannot commit. Good luck with this bitch now! I am angry he fall in love easily and choose some girl like that. so what if she is pretty with make up n contact lens on, but still..... when its removed, good luck to u... lol

On the other hand, after months of no contact, I am feeling very okay.........I know i should have let go much earlier but was stubborn until after being 'stabbed' in the heart for few more times by him, then only i am willing to fully let it go. I have my life, my colourful life to live and am very happy about it. I am lucky to have friends n family's support all through my life. I treat people nice, with my sincere heart without asking anything for return. For I am happy being me, to give unselfishly of my time, my listening ear, my help and advise if needed.

I'm lucky to have met men that opened up my mind and heart. I shall post about it in the next post =) Men that made me smile =))) Men that wear t-shirts, men that likes coffee, men that are so resourceful, men that are so man!!! oh my! =))))

My friend asked just now, Do you still believe in love??
I answered confidently, Yes! I believe =)

p!nk-Just give me a reason

Right from the start
You were a thief
You stole my heart
And I your willing victim
I let you see the parts of me
That weren't all that pretty
And with every touch you fixed them
Now you've been talking in your sleep oh oh
Things you never say to me oh oh
Tell me that you've had enough
Of our love, our love

Just give me a reason
Just a little bit's enough
Just a second we're not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again
It's in the stars
It's been written in the scars on our hearts
We're not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again

I'm sorry I don't understand
Where all of this is coming from
I thought that we were fine
(Oh we had everything)
Your head is running wild again
My dear we still have everythin'
And it's all in your mind
(Yeah but this is happenin')
You've been havin' real bad dreams oh oh
You used to lie so close to me oh oh
There's nothing more than empty sheets
Between our love, our love
Oh our love, our love

Just give me a reason
Just a little bit's enough
Just a second we're not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again
I never stopped
You're still written in the scars on my heart
You're not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again

Oh tear ducts and rust
I'll fix it for us
We're collecting dust
But our love's enough
You're holding it in
You're pouring a drink
No nothing is as bad as it seems
We'll come clean

Just give me a reason
Just a little bit's enough
Just a second we're not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again
It's in the stars
It's been written in the scars on our hearts
That we're not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again

Just give me a reason
Just a little bit's enough
Just a second we're not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again
It's in the stars
It's been written in the scars on our hearts
That we're not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again
Oh, we can learn to love again
Oh, we can learn to love again
Oh oh, that we're not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again

Just random yo... nice melody.. 

Long black just msg me Good morning beautiful =)))) 

Le Ann Rimes - Some People

Isn't it a gamble
Layin' your heart out on the floor?
Nothin' short of a miracle
When you find the one you're looking for
It's another kind of trouble
Trying to hang on to who you are
When all you wanna do is lose yourself
In someone else's arms
Isn't it a wonder that we got this far?
Some people aren't lucky like us
Some people they just give up
When the hard times fall
The thrill of it all is gone
Leaves you in a cloud of dust
It's sad to think that some won't find it
And others won't recognize it even when it comes
We're all at the mercy of the will of love
Some people yeah, some people aren't lucky like us
Two lonely souls that just stumbled into fate
Look how much we've been given, babe
In spite of all of our mistakes
And I will never forget I've been blessed
With the gift of lovin' you, yeah
And when the going ain't easy, babe
A little faith will pull us through
Thank God we have each other we can hang onto, yeah
Some people aren't lucky like us
Some people they just give up
When the hard times fall
The thrill of it all is gone
Leaves you in a cloud of dust
It's sad to think that some won't find it
And others won't recognize it even when it comes
We're all at the mercy of the will of love
Some people aren't, some people aren't lucky like us
To have someone you can laugh with
Someone you can cry with
Tell all your secrets to
To have someone who won't judge you
Someone who just loves you
No matter what, they stand beside you
Some people aren't lucky like us
Some people they just give up
When the hard times fall
The thrill of it all is gone
Leaves you in a cloud of dust
It's sad to think that some are never gonna find it
And they won't recognize it even when it comes
We're all at the mercy of the will of love
Some people yeah, some people yeah
Some people aren't lucky like us, oh yeah
Some people aren't lucky like us

Here in My Home-Malaysian Artistes for Unity

Hooked to this song now.... =)

Forgive perhaps, forget never.

Ever since being single a year plus ago, I told myself this
'If u can't be happy being single, how can you be happy in a relationship?'
And for that I hold true to myself that I should love myself, pamper and give myself what I deserve.
I did many many things to challenge myself, to make myself even more beautiful than what I already am, learn skills that I do not know and surround myself with friends whom I know are true to me.
Friends whom stood for me, friends who know my character so well and friends whom never tired of listening to me rant, friends who never stop telling me to let go and move on.
Determined that nothing is impossible, I did what I could, and I want to say this 2 months ago that 'I'm happy without you, ben. I'm happy bring single, and I'm happy that I felt happy. I'm  happy having my alone time. I do many things by myself and I'm happy that i'm capable of feeling happy. Even though, I know there is still anger and resentment in me, I know its slowly fading away. I want you totally out of my life as I deserve more than this. I deserve someone bigger, someone mature and someone who has a direction in life.

Forgive perhaps, forget never.